Finding Peace in Times of Trial: How to not only survive but thrive!
Jun 22, 2020
My first roundtable was with Andi Rondestvedt (listen to our previous episode here) Darrin Barney (listen to our previous episode here) and Leanne Rose Dorish.
Andi is a high school friend of mine who moved to America 3 years ago, she‘s a german teacher and lives with her family in California. I met Darrin at an event of Bo Eason in 2019, he lives with his family in Colorado and runs his own car company. Leanne is a friend of Darrin from Canada and a trauma mental health counselor, she helps people «to not only survive, but thrive». She‘s mostly working online and through Social Media. At the time of recording she lives with her son at her mum‘s place while her husband is in quarantine at their family home.
Our first topic is about our approach of getting up in the morning and doing the best we can throughout every day – especially during times like these (spring 2020).
For Leanne it‘s her 5-year old son that often dictates the mornings, they make sure that they check in with each other, think about what they‘re going to dress in, what they‘re going to do and try to bring joy into every day.
«It‘s very important to keep a routine of some sort, even when you‘re staying at home all day», Leanne
Andi likes to look at the next day the evening before and since her 11 year old son got older, he likes to join her doing this. She‘s super grateful that her older son really stepped up since the lockdown started and that he realises that it‘s an important time for the family to stick together. They structure every day regarding Andi‘s work as well as the school work and they make sure to spend a lot of time with each other, playing games and keeping a really positive energy together. Although Andi used to work with clients before the lockdown, working online isn‘t new to her, because she has had an online business before.
Darrin considers himself lucky because many people drop off their cars to have them run through service, so his business is still doing fine. Darrin‘s take on every new day is to start it with a purpose. He does that with the High Performance Planner from Brendon Burchard. Even over the weekends he does his normal morning routine which helps him keep his focus and not get into misery. «Even though there are many things going on, let‘s try to enjoy life anway». Our dreams are not going away because of this time (lockdown).
«Let‘s not forget about the people who are having a hard time, but it‘s not helping if we‘re frozen at home», Ronja
Leanne emphazises that this doesn‘t stop your dreams, this is the time that when we can‘t go outside, we can go inside. Think about the things that we can do now that we have time. She remembers a talk from Jean-Luis Rodrigue whom she met at an event from Bo Eason. He said to repeat «I have time» every morning, like a mantra. Andi complements this by underlining the importance of dreaming. The dreaming part is where everythings starts. Imagine things and then take steps towards it.
Our next big topic is how to access joy if you‘re not in a happy situation.
«Life is what we make of it», Darrin
Leanne talks about her perspective as a mother of a 5 year old. She knows that if she was down in the dumps, he son‘s life would be miserable too, because it‘s a chain reaction when it comes to children. They are already energetically feeling the worlds energy, they feel the inbalance, they feel the incertainty and if Leanne was letting the world crumble upon her, her son would feel this a hundredfold. For her it‘s all about perspective and about the conscious decisions she makes when waking up. And what helps her too is to not consume the news. To – again – consciously go on a news platform and inform herself and then turn it off again.
«I personally think it‘s harder to be miserable», Leanne
Andi talks about her own experience when she – after moving from Switzerland to America – first lived in a tiny apartment above a garage and what really helped her through the low moments in life was being grateful. There is always something to be grateful for, that you are healthy, that your loved ones are healthy, that you‘re able to breath, to get out for a walk…
«We can be stripped down to nothing and there is still something to be grateful for», Andi
Leanne recently learned, that gratitude surpasses the brainstem. It goes from just a headspace down through the whole spinal cord and emanates through our whole body – our body feels gratitude.
This is where my «100 things I‘m grateful for» list comes up. This is an exercise I like to do with my clients. All you have to do is write down 100 things you‘re grateful for. That‘s a lot but it helps you realise all the little things that you can be grateful for every day. Your heartbeat, your computer that lets you stay connected, the water coming out of the tap…
«You can‘t feel fear and gratitude at the same time», Ronja
Jesse Itzler recently said, that now is a great time to be a great human, so we talked about what we can do to be just that. Andi encourages everybody to really take this time to go within, find out who you are, what you want, what you would like to change.
«I really feel the big award to having gone within in the last 5 years», Andi
This is a huge opportunity for so many people to start doing this as well.
Leanne talks about basic self care – sleeping, eating and breathing. She used to work with elders in their first nations community and they say: «food and water, shelter and band aid», if they don‘t have first aid for physical hurt, if they don‘t have an idea where the next meal is coming from and if they don‘t know where they‘ll sleep at night, nothing else could be figured out in their minds.
«If we‘re trapped in the frustration and uncertainty, going back to basics could be a starting point», Leanne
Figure out how much sleep you get at night, help your body physically so that it can help you mentally.
A real game changer for Darrin was the 6 phase meditation by Vishen Lakhiani. It helps you when you don‘t know how to go inside, it walks you through all the steps that are so important for personal growth and to connect with ourselves and other human beings. First he did have some doubts about meditation but now he meditates on a daily basis and reallly encourages everybody to try it out, as it has made a real difference for him.
Andi is all about envisioning and manifesting dreams. Her dream of moving to California with her husband and their two kids starting during a vacation, when they were drinking champagne in the jacuzzi under the stars and thinking about what they want. And what they wanted was moving there. Andi talks about the immense joy she felt and that exactly this feeling carried her through the three years of preparation, moving and having to come back because the money ran out and moving a second time. Thinking about where she wanted to be, printing out photos and hanging them everywhere brought her closer to her dream every day.
«Connect inside to the feeling of joy», Andi
Leanne‘s approach when it comes to meditation is to think about a cloud or a bubble into which you can put thoughts that are intrusive in your mind. You can let them grow in or out of that bubble and this gives you a bit of distance and freedom from them. This needs to be practiced and given space. If you‘re fearful of being alone with yourself, concentrate on the stuff around you. The sounds, the cushion or grass you‘re sitting on, if you‘re meditating with open eyes, concentrate on what you see…
I love guided meditations, I usually start the day with my Golden Bubble Meditation where I grow roots in to the ground and pull up golden energy. Imagining that I‘m healthy and that my body and every cell within it is working perfectly. Our minds and thoughts are so important.
Andi does the Golden Bubble Meditation before going to sleep and regularly meets her inner guides in a meditation, where she asks questions or shares a concern and receives a symbol like a key or feather that she can later look up. It helps to connect with yourself on a different level.
Trust is a huge thing. Trust that you‘re not alone, trust in nature, trust that something or someone is taking care of you. Trust that everybody on this planet is connected. You don‘t have to have religious beliefs to trust. You can trust in mankind. Together we can achieve great things and it‘s all about the little things, about showing appreciation and love.
Leanne remembers a quote from Mother Theresa where she says that all the work that needs to be done in the world, needs to start at home, needs to start right where we are.
During the time of recording we‘re in the middle of a lockdown due to a pandemic and so the topic of how to be connected comes up. About how it is to hear a voice and not only stick to text messages, how fun it is to write and receive letters… We talk about ideas like interviewing your parents about their past and treasure this recordings as a time piece and precious memory (thank you Jesse Itzler for that idea), going through familiy photos or old home videos together, doing a random act of kindness like writing messages with chalk on the streets… All these things that bring joy into our life, no matter where we‘re at right now and what‘s happening outside.
We end the round with the following words to everybody that is watching or listening:
Andi: «See this time as an opportunity and not as a negative thing. Take this whole experience as a huge opportunity and as a gift»
Leanne: «Be good to yourself, allow for that love and acceptance and appreciation to start on the inside and then it can be given a lot easier outwardly»
Darrin: «It‘s important that we look for that inner peace right now. The only person that can give it to you is yourself. We affect everybody whether we recognize it or not, stay positive, connect with yourself and with god»
My practical advice for this particular time is to stop consuming the news. We know what‘s important, but it‘s not healthy to stay in a steady panic mode. We are still cavemen and cavewomen and we‘re not made for this kind of intake. Focus on the things that we‘ve talked during the last hour instead. It‘ll do you and everybody around you wonders!
You can watch our conversation here:
This is where you can find Andi:
This is where you can find Leanne:
- mynicufamily.com
People we talked about during the discussion:
Tools & Apps:
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